suicidebomb's Diaryland Diary


M�nage � trois

How unexpected on Thursday I was approached to have a threesome with two other boys - Elton and Marius. This was completely out of the blue. Elton pursued me around the club for a good two hours, with Sean hot on his heels. After conversation was initiated, he told me I was "underconfident" and that I should have more confidence in myself, "You are probably one of the most beautiful boys in this room", he exclaimed. I responded by saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder", a clich� but true. What I meant is that to him perhaps I was, but with others I my looks were contested. As far as I remember I asked Marius, who it transpires is his boyfriend for a cigarette, he very sweetly offered me one. I actually wanted him to join me for a smoke. I realised he was very in love with his boyfriend and was only doing all this for him. Or atleast thats how it seemed outwardly. After much discussion, he Elton handed me a kleenex with their names and numbers scribbled on them. It was a suprisingly formal proposal, he kept reiterating 'You should come and visit us, we live in the country'. it's been two days since and I've received friend requests from both and messages, I replied today by text in humour.

Although, I am tempted by their less than subtle offer, a number of things are holding me back. Firstly, how safe it is to go with these guys, HIV, rape, murder &c. is it worth it all for a lay? Secondly, I have this voice of guilt for arranging sex, not least with two other men. I fear my parents responses and feel guilt-ridden for my urges. Thirdly, I am uncomfortable with the idea of being a tool to spice up their sex life. On the other side of the coin, they are both attractive and seem look good, honest people. Will I regret it if I don't pursue it. Life is about experiences and sex, why deprive myself of what I desire? So I will do this, but only once I am certain that this would be safe. A few questions, I should ask: Do they do this often? No cameras, and certain things I'm not into. I don't know how exactly to go about this.

3:14 p.m. - 2008-03-29


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