suicidebomb's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sexual Exploits. The last time I saw Ms Kontakou, I told her about my quandary and uncertainty around my sexuality. She advised me to jot down all my sexual experiences, to record what I feel is missing. I think this is a terrific idea. So here is my first entry. Last night I met Steve at Ghetto, in the dim lighting he seemed very goodlooking, but as the lighting got better and I sobered up, I realised I'd wasn't that into him. It was more a physical thing, he's quite tubby. Personality-wise, he was very comely and down-to-earth, I would rate him with the best one night stands in terms of conversational skills and so forth. However, I'm not sure I fancy him. Anyway, this is more about the sex than the person. And gay sex to be precise. I don't know what it is, when I look at porn it's hot and arousing and incredibly sensuous. The reality is very different (as with most things). I didn't get turned up by brushing beards, nestling bollocks and prick friction. In fact at one point I was quite happily thinking about something else. I even covered my face with the pillow because I didn't want to kiss any longer and quite frankly I wasn't that into his face. The sex was the same old story, I have no compulsion to suck cock and even having my cock sucked (although a pleasurable experience) doesn't take me all the way. Didn't know what to do with his dick, didn't like his hand up my arse. And eventually even the cock-rubbing felt like nothing apart from grinding against someone's groin, surely I'd get the exact same thing with a women except there would be more moisture and she would be softer to touch. Anyway, I felt more interested in the girls at ghetto yesterday, well the lesbian girls. I don't know gay sex isn't what I was expecting I'm realising. 1:03 p.m. - 2008-04-26 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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