suicidebomb's Diaryland Diary



What a strange string of occurrences that have coloured that last two days. I'll divide this into three parts. Firstly, I had Osama and Kobi over. Secondly, I went completely mental at my sister and blew fuse. Thirdly, I sold my Bestival ticket.

The first part, was unusual because Ban flaked at the last minute. Who'd have guessed they other two would stick to their word and it quite a successful night. Weird for them both to meet, but they got along well. My feelings for Osama were kind of not there in the same way at least. I took every thing he told me with quite a lot of surprise. For instance, suddenly he likes football, and not only that, but him and Kobi had a long discussion about it. Even though I suspect neither of them give a shit. He's not really close to Ali or even Wissam so much anymore. I don't know if he is what I thought he is. But when someone is so boggling, its best just to stop analysing them because you'll either go mad, or realise that they are not actually that complicated. i felt very dissappointed that he wants to go into academia. I guess I always thought he would aspire to do something more exciting and glamourous. My sister and her friend said something that struck a chord: 'He's very good looking, but you can see the way he is ageing' it was strange to hear this, but they were right. Sam has a receding hairline and he's put on weight, he's not getting any better, that's for sure. Refreshingly though if he has realised, he doesn't seem to care. I see he's very much living his life, and doesn't care what others think, he's just doing his own thing.

The second part, was related to my sister acting like a tool. She started trying to endear herself to my mates, and felt in order to do that she had to humiliate me by telling stupid and quite cringing stories about my childhood. I still wince when I remember the way she was giggling, she looked so stupid and embarrassing. I ended up going completely mental and locking her in the toilet. My reason was she never sits down to talk about the important things, like keeping the house clean and considering others. I felt that it was important that she started to prioritise people other than herself and her friends. I admit I went too far, but I was incredibly angry and I felt speaking to her in low voices was hopeless. In one way, I feel like her friends might think I'm a complete arsehole, from what she's described. But they have never lived with someone who is always so oblivious, forgetful, argumentative and ditsy. It might be charming in small doses but trying living it.

The third part is related to my academics and the much hyped bestival. Sadly, after they left I had a panic attack and put my ticket on gumtree. This morning I sold it to this girl called Ellie for �110.00. It was relief, that not all was lost. Sitting here now, I'm certain it was the best decision. I hope I can use these four days to their utmost.I know when its all over I'll be glad I did my best.

7:43 p.m. - 2008-09-04


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