suicidebomb's Diaryland Diary


job situation and meeting jita

Things are rubbish on the job front, application after application gets rejected. Who knew I was so unemployable :) Guess I need to keep banging them out and sending them off. Last few weeks I've learnt a lot of stuff about shadows from the past. Pretty glad I met up with Jita. She was quite nice but I think I'm okay to let that ghost rest now. She was sweet towards me, but I didn't feel she experienced any remorse or even guilt about what had happened. I realise we are poles apart. Had I been in her shoes I would have felt kind of shitty about what had happened and at least tried to have understood what went wrong. The reality was she had moved on. University was just a phase in her life and there was no impulse to keep hold of the people she met there. From what she said it seemed like she felt a bit nostalgic and reached out for that reason alone. I think it was big of us to actually respond. A sorry would have been nice. Even though the meet up was peppered with awkward silences and sweet giggles. I wasn't sure we were on the same page, at the time she seemed keen for a follow-up meeting the following week. I think this was premature. I encouraged George to send a nice text message, as did I. We never got a response. As usual it is impossible to know what to make of this. But I think the best thing is to leave it at that. I don't know if I'm willing any more to meet up again. Jita seemed to pleased with herself, her new clothes, her new job, her new boyfriend. She was subtly smug about herself. This begs the question what she wanted from us. I guess as is wont with Jita, she simply hadn't thought about it. I feel a bit disappointed in who she is and the fact I had hoped she had grown up, but in reality she had changed but not enough to warrant rekindling a friendship. Time's are hard right not, but I can't justify being friends with someone who shows all the signs they aren't honest with themselves.

6:27 p.m. - 2009-05-26


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