suicidebomb's Diaryland Diary


So what's next in a post-Ahmed world....Well, everything is!

Dear Diary,

I didn't wait till I met him and fell head over heals in love. I kept it discreet, he was never to know. I never let him know. Today, I mentioned to him my ex was a doctor, he said what kind of doctor was 'she', I corrected him. Told him it was a 'he'. He was taken by surprise, he kept asking the same questions he had asked previously. "What does he specialise in?", he murmured "I didn't know you were...". I later BBMed him telling him to keep it discreet because I'm a private person. And that was the end of that. I presume I will not see him before he leaves. I mean who remains but me and James now. It was painful watching them flirt and play with each other, but I was strong and dealt with it in a mature way, instead of hiding away. I'm also glad I made myself visible, he clearly did not have any idea or only an inkling. You have to think long-term, maybe nothing will come of it now, but maybe in the future something can! Or at least a friendship which could be great too. Now I can move on, knowing that I made a big step for myself. No doubt he knows many other Arab gays, but at least I have extended an olive branch. I'm going to close this chapter now and move forward!

6:20 p.m. - 2010-11-16


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