suicidebomb's Diaryland Diary


Sean with no surname

So he's cabin crew, we met online. Sugn me praises, build it up. Was into him when we met. Seemed sweet, nice and a bit insecure. In my heart, I know this wont go anywhere, so why do I keep holding on wishfully? I guess its best to keep things sweet, just send a nice message every now and then and slowly move on. No point in asking if things are going anywhere..

7:24 p.m. - 2011-04-08


Ahmed El S - a new frontier.

Dear Diary,

I went out on a date with Ahmed Eldin's ex Ahmed. The jury is still out on how this all went. On the one hand, I was pleasantly surprised by how much I liked him. He was sweet, warm and knew what he wanted from life. And brave about his sexuality and career choice. At the same time, I was undecided whether he was comparing me to Ahmed all the time. I also noticed he constantly expected me to pay for things and get him things. I've been guilty of this with exes, but not something I was prepared to do. He kept on passing statements about me, telling me how I was overnaalysing. Now I'd only known the guy for two days. I haven't heard anything from him for a few days. Maybe, if this doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world for me. Sure I'd love to preserve a friendship, but a relationship where I feel loved and appreciated is the ultimate, and even if its just him finding it hard to express this for me or not. It's not ideal. Maybe a maturity difference. Anyway, I think I'm going to leave it for a few days and see what happens with this one. I refuse to get upset, because if life has taught me anything is that 1. there is no point in being upset over trivial things like boys. and 2. Remember, even if you are rejected a million times, its not the end of the world , remember its simply you not fitting their projected image of the ideal partner. not your shortcoming at all!

10:42 p.m. - 2011-01-08


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