suicidebomb's Diaryland Diary


Studying hard- it's time to sink or swim.

I entered into a masters because i realised there would be no better way to spend the year than learning by choice. I was lured by the opportunity to meet more like-minded people- new friends, new experiences, new life. It wasn't exactly what I expected. Although, I have learnt new things from it and gained more confidence, I still can't help but feel short-changed by the experience. The teachers (some terrible), the courses (some great) and the students (all nice, if not like-minded). I spent this year attending meetings for the many societies, watching new films, listening to new music and so forth. Anyway, I have lost my way in the process. Books, essay-writing and learning will now be prioritised -at least - until after the take-home papers. My results discouraged me as did the inherent lack of support (from the staff) and the fact that it was a simple fail-pass-distinction dyad. I originally entered the course with eyes to achieve the elusive distinction, but became aware I didn't have the passion or drive to do it. Anyway, now my attitude must change or I will end up failing this course. I only have four more obstacles and six more weeks to change things. I need to focus and get my head down if I'm going to succeed. I could not bear walking out of this experience with a fail, how embarrassing would that be after the fuss made of me being at ucl and the money spent on it. Anyway, it will be done. From now on the priority is getting my work done to the best of my ability, socialising will have to pushed back, but even less time will be spent on films, wanking and general procrastination.

9:56 a.m. - 2008-04-16


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