suicidebomb's Diaryland Diary


Problems with mother.

Over the last year and a half things have gradually got worse and worse. Breakdowns, tantrums, screaming, aggression and so on. She's finding it hard because we're growing up and she can't have influence over us anymore. She missed the point that she hasn't had influence over us for many years. Today she made astounding leaps from different times, events and issues (my dad's other woman, gaydar-gate, telling her brother, etc etc etc) just to illustrate a point she didn't have. My dad impressively articulated something else 'Jad is an individual, and we have to learn to love each other mutually', he said, 'so your taking his side?? SO I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING??!'. I wish she could understand, but she simplifies everything, constantly generalising, and missing the bigger point. It's very distressing.

10:50 p.m. - 2008-05-07


The dreaded third wheel.

After Orson and Kathleen's breakup, I was relieved I would no longer have to put up with Kathleen's constant presence and good spend some Q.T. with my best mate again. I spent months distancing myself, didn't have the words to say I didn't like feeling like an asexual child to be petted, cuddled and generally laughed at/with. In the end, he ended it (surprisingly), and now I see that she used me to get closer to him and he used me to get away from her. One I can understand, I was his best friend and you help each other out in times of need.

History repeats itself with Gary and Hattie. This time, however, I'm determined not to let her get a grasp of me. She's really a kind of annoying twat in a leather jacket with too much make up on. Every time we meet up she just appears, like they are joined at the hip. I feel uncomfortable so I'm going to spell it out to Gary that if I invite him out, it would be much cooler if it was just me and him and not Hattie. She's nice enough I guess but, I don't want to disclose details of my life to her and she's kind of clingy. Sure, I could get to know her and maybe she would grow on me. But I have enough friends and she has nothing to offer me of interest. So I'm going to be cold for a while then give him the message and hopefully it will sink in. Can't be doing with someone rubbing their relationship in my face.

8:49 p.m. - 2008-05-05


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