suicidebomb's Diaryland Diary


Affirmative Action.

Things are bothering me a little. I think about the positive things: I have a masters, I have many friends (who I do and don't see enough), I had my first date last month in years, I have a good wardrobe, I'm happier and more confident than I have ever been ( seen great films, heard great songs), I've had more sex this year than I did even in my second year of uni, wrote more words, read more books, did more extra work, more assertive, less confused. All the things I've wanted. But something is missing. A companion. Not such a depressing prospect as much as I'm not getting the chance to meet the people I want so much. I'm thinking that I should look at people like Lily's profile and see where they go. If I can't have friends like her at least it will send me in the right direction. I am approaching the horrible Oct-Nov-Dec Dyad. But maybe this can be the first year, I do something about it. Instead of moping around being depressed because I have too much work, too much of a hangover and nerves. I'm prepared finally to go by myself.

Thought also about travels with Sally. As the days go by it becomes more and more obvious that she isn't the travel companion I had in mind, and we wouldn't be compatable for long term travel. I'm going to tell her when we meet. Something along the lines of:

'I was under the impression that we were going to only meet at bookends because you wanted to break up your travel. I'm really excited about going to India and perhaps meeting again in North/South America. I was happy with those arrangments because we have different interests and I think that's the best thing for us'

8:32 p.m. - 2008-09-23


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